How to give a good best man or maid of honor speech

Introduction

I was a groomsman at a wedding in Hawaii over the weekend, and after the best man and maid of honor gave their speeches, the DJ/emcee asked, “Any words of widsom from the bridal party?”  We were all taken aback since no one prepared for this, and I was like a deer in headlights.  I froze.  Luckily the other groomsman and bridesmaid went up and said a couple of nice things.  While they were giving their talk, I tried to run through all the things I would have said.  I wanted to talk about the story of when I first met the bride, then of how the groom changed since he met the bride, etc, but it wasn’t all pieced together nicely.  By the time they were done, I still wasn’t prepared, and so I didn’t say anything.  I realized a couple of things in that moment – 1) I’m not good at just ‘winging it’ and 2) like blog posts, I like to write, edit, rewrite, and edit again.  Of course you can Google this yourself and this has nothing to do with miles and points, but I think everyone should know this stuff since I’m sure everyone has a best friend and you may be called upon one day to give a speech.

Be prepared

If you really want to write a good memorable speech, you have to give yourself time.  Usually ‘winging it’ never works because you’ll forget about something that you should have said or not said.  If this is your best friend, try to jot notes down on what you want as soon as you can.  You don’t have to write the whole speech in one day; just jot down notes, and maybe the week before or days before, then try to piece things together and structure it properly.

Be funny and/or be sentimental

I’ve been to over a dozen weddings, and it seems the best ones are either the funny ones or the ones that make you tear up.  A father of the bride once made a speech that he had written down on paper (clearly he prepared,) and while I don’t remember all of what he said, I do remember it being funny at times but it also made you tear up.

No inside jokes or funny stories that only you and the bride/groom understand

Don’t tell a crowd of 200 people about the time you and the groom went on a beer run back in college and got arrested (a story that has nothing to do with the bride and groom.)  Now, if the bride was the arresting officer, then that would be a hit.  But I’ve heard too many speeches where things got a little too personal and no one understood the context.  It doesn’t need to be said but – no profanity in the speech.

Delivery is key

At work a year or so ago, we had someone come and talk to our team on how to deliver speeches.  It was definitely one of the best work trainings I’ve ever had.  The key here is to:

• a) speak loudly (especially if you are a quiet Asian,)
• b) speak into the microphone! (too many people lower the microphone while giving the speech and no one hears them)
• c) speak slower (most people talk too fast when giving speeches and they’ll slur sentences)
• d) ENUNCIATE (goes back to the above point.  speak slower so people can hear and understand you)