The art of being mediocre at your job

DISCLAIMER – YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE THIS ARTICLE SERIOUSLY! In fact, I’m sipping on my newfound love of bourbon as I’m writing this right now. Read it more as a story vs what you actually should be doing in life.

I realize that 99% of job related articles published is about how to excel and be good at your job. Well, this one is about just being MEDIOCRE at your job. This means you work hard enough to NOT get fired, but you also don’t want to rise up the ranks, be promoted, etc.

I distinctly remember one reader named Charles a few years back who also had a desk job and chatted with me all day. He was sort of in the same boat – not working hard at his job and had free time to side hustle. I imagine a lot of you are in the same boat in this hobby – clearly your job isn’t taxing enough for you to have time to MS and travel.

When I started my first corporate job after college, I was a gung-ho newbie employee working hard and trying my best. That lasted about a year. You see, at most corporate jobs, they usually rate their employees from a 1 to a 3 whereby 10% of top performers are ranked a 1 and then the bottom 10% get ranked a 3. The majority fit in the 2 rank of course and they will tell you there are degrees in the 2 ranking – “Well you were a 2 plus this year…” Yeah whatever. Anyway, I worked hard the first year and got a 1 ranking. Then the second year, I’m not sure if I slacked off (very likely) or they were expecting more from me and I just wasn’t delivering and wound up with a “high 2” I believe. After that, I was a solid 2 forever at that company, even when I changed positions 2 times.

One of my managers at the time told me that I should work and claw myself to be an Associate Director (managing about 30-50 people) and then I can go into cruise control. Needless to say, I veered off that course after a few years and realized I was never going to make it to be an AD (I think you needed to be rated a 1 3-5 years to make it to AD.) During that time, I also had coworkers who were 50-60 years old who were only 1 level above me, who had worked there for 20-30 years, just going about their business and seeming to enjoy their work life balance. By the end of my tenure at that company, I had a great work/life balance. I was in the office for 40 hours, but half the time, I was goofing off and not doing any ‘real’ work. It was awesome!

Anyway, I moved up a level in my time there before deciding to change career paths. I eventually landed in a smaller company (jeez I want to say 200 people) and busted my ass there. Well when I say ‘busted my ass,’ that meant I actually worked 40 hours a week. I was in a group of about 7 people or so and got promoted within 9 months (see, I had the CAPACITY to work hard; I just DGAF before in a big corporate company.) After a year there, I used that job to catapult to another big corporate job.

And guess what… in the first year, I got rated a 1 once again cuz I was trying to ‘bust my ass’ and rise up the ranks. And sure enough, in year 2, I fell back down to a 2 and that’s where I’ve been ever since. I distinctly remember when I joined the company, I noticed an older coworker who was ready to retire – the guy just didn’t give a shit. Came in, clocked his hours and went home. I think he had retired 2 years later. I didn’t realize it at the time how great he had it.

Fast forward a handful of years later and I’m at the point in my career where I just DGAF. I prioritize work/life balance over trying to be promoted. In fact, I want no part in being promoted to a people manager. A friend who joined the same company at around the same time got promoted to a people manager a few years back and she busts her ass hard! Each time we hang out and I tell her about my work, she’s always like, “How? WTF? I work 60 hours a week! I want your job!” My counter to her is always, “Hey you wanted to be people manager…” Plus, it’s an art to be mediocre. Not everyone can do it.

Anyway, I’m on a team of about 10 people now. The next step up for me would be a people manager, and since I want no part of that, I just do my work and go home. I try NOT to volunteer to do stuff. In fact, a year ago, I mentioned an idea to my boss and he said it was a great idea and next thing you know, I had to do it! Did I get a higher ranking or extra money out of it? HELL NO! I told my friend, “I am NEVER volunteering or opening my mouth again.”

I think at the end of the year, I was STILL rated a 2 and maybe got an extra $2K or so in bonus. I kept thinking back… I would rather have NOT done all that extra work and NOT gotten the $2K. There were years I felt I worked extra hard and still got rated a 2. There was one year I was playing Guardian Cross all the time at work and still got rated a 2. Immediately you think to yourself – do I really want to work 25% harder all year just to make up to an extra 5% of your salary?

Of course the key here is that you also don’t want to be so DGAF that you get fired. I’ve sized up my 10 coworkers and I feel I’m definitely in the middle of the pack – meaning there are worse coworkers who should get fired before me. Don’t delude yourself here and think you’re William Hung who can sing – ask your close coworkers or even your boss where you fall in the ladder. Make sure you’re not in the bottom 10% or 25% even. It’s like that saying – you don’t have to be the FASTEST – you just have to be faster than the slowest guy.

I remember telling a people manager friend at another company this and she goes, “I haaaaaate people like you. I have a guy that works for me who is smart as shit but he’s laaaaazy AF.” Haha. An old manager of mine once quipped, “You know they say the smartest people are the laziest people” meaning you don’t want to work HARDER, just work SMARTER! For instance, if you can code something in an hour whereas it takes 8 hours for a coworker, well guess what, you just earned 7 hours of “free time.” Granted a 1 rated go-getter would do more work in those 7 hours, but if you DGAF, then you’re going to slack off for 7 hours. But hey, you’re still “better” than the 8 hour coworker. I use this as an extreme case, but you get the picture.

So should you slack off at work now? NO! You should already know what type of worker you are. Does it take you 1 hour to do the job or 8 hours? If 1 hour, what did you do in the other 7 hours? Were you browsing Tiktok for things to resell? Well, welcome to my world!