Review – Brondell Swash SW1400-EW bidet

Introduction

I needed an electrician to come install a 240V plug in my garage for my future Tesla.  I asked my Nextdoor neighbors for a recommendation on an electrician, and no one could come up with one.  I wound up finding a guy on Taskrabbit that was charging ~$100 an hour to do it.  He had good reviews, so I messaged him to take care of it.  I figure since he was already coming over, I’d ask him if he charged by the job or by the hour.  He told me by the hour.  That’s when I asked him to install an electrical outlet in the bathroom while he was here.  Why?  Because I’ve been wanting a bidet in the bathroom ever since my trip to Japan, but have been too cheap/lazy to find an electrician to install the outlet.  It took him about 15-30 minutes to do it.

Brondell S1400

I had asked some people for recommendations.  Most people were recommending the Toto s300e, which is about $700 (maybe less if you wait for Woot deal.)  Someone recommended the Brondell (they had an older version than the S1400e.)  I got it for ~$465 all in from Build.com after a portal.  It goes for $650+tax on Amazon.  Regardless of what model I picked, I wanted a few things:

1. A warm toilet seat (almost all have this feature)
2. Warm water (I didn’t know I wanted this, but now I’m glad I got it – hey you don’t want cold water splashing on you)
3. A remote control to hang on the wall (this isn’t really THAT necessary)

That was basically it.  Here are features that I guess is nice to have:

1. User programmable settings (different settings for you and wife)
2. Air filter (you most likely don’t need this if you have a fan in the bathroom, but I did try it once and it was EFFICIENT.  Essentially removed all the odor in a few seconds.)
3. Night light – at first I thought it was stupid, but after using it, it’s useful because I don’t have to turn on the lights in the middle of the night now.

That’s essentially it.

Installation

Don’t be a know-it-all like me and just assume you can install it without directions (I had to install the seat THREE TIMES because I didn’t read the directions.)  I also didn’t connect the right water plugs, which then made it leak (good thing I noticed before I went to bed.)  So watch the video and read the directions.  Should take you ~15 minutes to install, but it took me 45 minutes because I didn’t install it correctly.

Using it

I thought my wife would love it when she saw it, but her reaction was ‘meh.’  The problem is that no matter how long you try to dry it (I’ve used AUTO and then ran an extra DRY cycle,) your bum is still going to be wet.  So you have the option of either patting the water off, which now gets your hand sorta wet or you can just put your underwear on to your wet bum.  I won’t tell you which option I go with since it’s TMI, but let’s just say it’s not ideal.  Thus, I’m not sure if it’s just THIS model, but the air dryer isn’t strong/hot enough to fully dry you in the 30 seconds it blows on you (60 sec if you blow twice.)  Thus, my wife hardly uses it although I use it every time.  I asked her why she said she wanted one a long time ago, and she said, “All I wanted was a warm seat in the winter.”  Ugh; coulda saved myself a lot of money.

Conclusion

A week after I got mine, my buddy got one from Costco for I think $300.  It’s not as fancy as mine, but apparently his dryer is more effective than mine.  His also has the warm seat and water, which is essentially all you need.  So go get that one instead.